Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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