he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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