there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
