Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
