matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We're too hungover to prance.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
