my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
