My sheets look like a crime scene.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
