You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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