Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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