i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
