I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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