I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
