as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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