Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
