Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
