butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
please come you make the beer taste better
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
