nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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