There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
