well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
