I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
