Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
