every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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