How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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