He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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