I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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