The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
