I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
