so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
