is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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