I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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