So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
time to smoke my breakfast
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
