Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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