I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
