I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This gyro tastes like lonliness
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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