I wish I could teleport
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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