Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
