I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
