well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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