Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
