my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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