You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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