But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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