just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
