yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
