Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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