anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
