I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
