At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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