Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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