Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
