Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
