Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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