there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
