i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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