He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
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